


Saren, Sweet? What a Scandal!

by xMidnightSun



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 17:35:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6018742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xMidnightSun/pseuds/xMidnightSun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Saren's at his cutest when he's tired after missions. He does his best to make sure Nihlus tells <i>nobody,</i> but reporters are good at showing up at the worst times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saren, Sweet? What a Scandal!

If anyone asked Nihlus to describe Saren Arterius, and many journalists had once they’d caught wind of their budding relationship, he’d always make sure to start it with, after a brief assurance that what he was saying was, indeed, true, a brief anecdote from the beginning of their relationship, years ago. The moment he’d begin to tell the story, and it never failed to occur just so, there would arise a great commotion from nearby and Saren would skid onto the scene to silence Nihlus before nary a sentence had made it out. The shorter turian would fling a hand across the taller’s face, clamping his jaws shut, and growl at the journalist, “I think you should leave,” while Nihlus chortled in the background, eternally amused by Saren’s apparent allergy to whatever the anecdote entailed.

But one time, Aediteia Epirian caught Nihlus shopping during the early morning, long before Saren had arisen from bed, and, with a delighted trill thrumming in her cowl, cheerfully asked the immortal question, “So, Spectre Kryik, what can you tell us about Saren Arterius?”

Nihlus puffed up proudly, mandibles flaring out and back in a few times. “Well,” he began, subvocals humming amusement, “about that. Do you want to hear a story?”

“Certainly.” Aediteia’s camera, a flighty little thing she’d nicknamed Hevvie after her son, flitted to her other shoulder and lit Nihlus’s plates in just the perfect way to make them glow. “Is this the infamous story that Saren always manages to interrupt?”

Nihlus didn’t answer, only tilted his head downward, raising his brow plates and waggling his mandibles.

Aediteia bit back a thrilled chirp and adjusted her hold on her datapad, mirroring his conspiratorial expression back. “Do tell.”

Nihlus grinned. “Well, do you remember that one mission, all over the news a few months ago, with the batarians…?”

* * *

Nihlus gave a short, barking laugh, palming the door lock as he passed by. “I tried to tell him not to, but you know how Saren gets in combat. ‘No,’” he growled, mimicking Saren’s deeper, husky tone, “'they’ll be expecting us to flank them, not go through the front door. Besides, Nihlus, you know how I adore getting shot at. I haven’t visited the medbay enough this week.’” He dropped the voice, mandibles flaring out as Monrius snorted like he was trying to inhale his nasal plates, then gave a lazy grin. “I know, right? Took a bullet in the leg and it _still_ didn’t change his mind. I swear, the guy’s plates aren’t made of thulium, they’re made of- of- I dunno, man, fuckium or something!”

“Very scientific,” Monrius teased, his voice growing tinny and distant as Nihlus dropped the datapad onto his desk, followed shortly by his omni-tool bracelet. “Is he still there?”

“Yep, getting a metal slug pulled out. With any luck, he won’t keep this one as a necklace.” Nihlus shook his head and started to dismantle his armor, starting with the gloves, placing each piece neatly into the cabinet beside his bunk.

“You’re kidding me. He keeps them as necklaces?”

“Nah. Usually makes bracelets out of them. Been on a necklace kick, though, turned the last…” He trailed off, counting, then finished, “four of them into one.”

Monrius whistled. “That’s Saren for you.” Nihlus heard some shuffling, then a bit of snuffling and a sigh. “Looks like the lady’s home early. I’ll let you go- you’ve got a boyfriend to cheer up, after all.”

“Fuck you too,” Nihlus chirped, reaching for the ‘end call’ key. “Later.”

He’d just finished putting his armor away when the door slid open and Saren lurched through, completely ignoring Nihlus’s presence at the desk in favor of staggering his way to the (wrong) bunk and collapsing face-first onto it with a loud groan like the gas being let out of a hanar’s helium bladder.

Nihlus kept his tone chipper. “Welcome back,” he called, stifling a snort at Saren’s muffled bleat in response. “You look tired.”

Saren briefly raised his head to give Nihlus the most impressive stink-eye he’d ever received from a near-corpse, then unceremoniously dropped it back into the rough cotton blankets that Nihlus, and only Nihlus, kept on his bed. He groaned irritably.

“That’s my bed, you know.”

Saren groaned again.

“That’s why there’s rough blankets on it instead of your silk stuff.” Nihlus paused, then chuckled and called again, “Are you high on painkillers, Saren?”

Saren groaned.

“Do you want me to move your blankets to my bed so you can sleep?”

Saren groaned.

Nihlus rolled his eyes and loped across the cramped room, careful to keep his talons tucked into his palm while picking up Saren’s blankets from the opposite bed. He gently tucked them under Saren’s head and draped the thin one over his body (or at least the half that was actually lying on the bed), then tutted. “You’re going to wake up sore sleeping like that.”

Saren just groaned again.

“Fine, fine, make me mom all over you, I see how it is.” He waited a moment for Saren’s inevitable annoyed response, then stooped over to plant a kiss on the zygomatic spine closest to him. “Good night, Saren.”

* * *

“… and he doesn’t like people hearing about that because he thinks it ruins his 'scary intimidating professional Spectre’ image,” Nihlus finished, flashing Aediteia an easy smile. “But I think it’s cute.”

Teia dropped her mandibles in a smile too. “Sounds like my husband after a long day in the office.”

Nihlus barked out a laugh, and then shrugged. “You know how boyfriends can be. Speaking of which…” He motioned to the bag resting on his arm, grinning again. “… I have to go back and make Saren breakfast.”

“Of course.” Aediteia nodded to him. “Thank you for speaking with us.” She cocked a mandible up in a sly smile and added, “Make sure to email me his response to the report.”

Already facing away from her, Nihlus choked on his farewell and gave a sharp, barking cackle, calling back, “Sure thing! It’ll be _great!”_


End file.
